Sexuality Feminism

I’ve been struggling, like many feminists interested in sexuality, with the issue of self-identification. I am clearly neither an anti-porn feminist nor a sex-positive feminist. I very much enjoy porn, but I think its trends and messages are extremely problematic. I'd much rather see a new, different kind of pornography as an alternative to what we've already got.

In the past, I’ve identified most closely with sex-positive feminism. When I was growing up, I was socially attacked and ostracized for being a woman who was openly interested in sex. This hurt me. When I encountered sex-positive feminism, it was like a light shone down from the sky. There were other people who thought that sex was important, that women could be sexual, that I was really an okay person even though I had a sex drive.

On the other hand, I don’t agree with a total lassiez-faire attitude towards porn. I think it’s important to recognize the systematic misogyny in porn. I don’t want to ban porn at all, but we can’t do any better for sexuality if we don’t recognize its problems. That “pornified” misogyny is part of what creates the idea that women can’t be sexual unless they’re whores (in other words unless their sex is in service of men). I can see that, and think it’s important.

Therefore, I am coining a new term for myself. I am a sexuality feminist. I believe that sexuality is central to gender inequality. I think that addressing sexual inequality is a very crucial step towards decreasing overall gender inequality. I make sexual equality the main focus of my activism.

This term could, in fact, apply to both the anti-porn and the sex-positive feminists. It says nothing about whether you’re in favor of mainstream porn or not. Maybe it could even let us work together sometimes.

It doesn’t mean we have to give the word “pornography” a new meaning in order for the average person to understand what we mean when we define ourselves. It doesn’t suggest that those who oppose us are “sex-negative” or anti-sex. Rather than putting us in opposition to something, it gives us a realm in which to work, rebel, agitate, create, define, and live.

Who knows, maybe it could catch on. I'm claiming it here and now: I’m a sexuality feminist.

Note: This is an excerpt from my in-progress honor's thesis on porn and feminism.

Dan Savage on The Colbert Report

Alright, I have mixed feelings about Dan Savage. In case you don't know, he's an openly gay and partnered sex columnist for Seattle paper The Stranger.

On the one hand, he is hilarious as fuck. I've read his column frequently and he's really funny. He's great on some issues, like gay marriage and being understanding of people's kinks. He even gives some good advice sometimes.

On the other hand, I think he often strong arms issues that need a more sensitive treatment. I don't want to be a mushy female feminist (sigh, stupid stereotypes), but in his quest to always be funny, he sometimes becomes a bit misogynistic. He makes no secret of his distaste for women. I mean, "he's gay so whatever," but I think it does affect the quality of his advice.

That said, I absolutely LOVE his recent appearance on The Colbert Report. He is delightfully funny and I think he even made Colbert a little speechless. If you've been paying attention, you'll notice that he says something similar to what I did about the old folks who voted for Prop 8. (He's not as nice.) Makes me feel kind of vindicated.



Go you, Dan Savage.

I'm Watching Jesus Camp For the First Time

Jesus Camp

Now, that link will get you to the whole film. If you haven't seen this movie yet, you should. I prefer to financially support films, books, and music that I like instead of getting them on the internet, but you can make that decision for yourself. If I were you, I'd go rent it, because I'm sure it's better with nicer film quality.

I am so speechless about most of this film. Part of me wants to give the kids a hug, I just feel so bad for them. The emotional blackmail, the guilt that they're put through.

But on the other hand, they are not stupid. Clearly. They speak very articulately and passionately and are so obviously trying really hard to live well. With the information they're given, they are making the best decisions they can. They wouldn't want my hugs. I just can't imagine what it's like to go through life with that kind of guilt, repressing yourself so much.

To grow up like Ted Haggert, who's got a little cameo in the film, and despise yourself, live a double life, oppress people who are like you because you think that you are evil. What that must be like, emotionally. How much pain there must be.

That doesn't mean I like Ted. On one level, I really despise people like Ted, people who press others down. Part of me whats that to be all I feel, as an activist, a humanist. They are mean people, hypocrites, etc.

But I also feel empathy for them. I can't help it; they're living in a hell. Of course, they're trying to force that same hell on other people. For that, I'll always fight them. But I'll feel sorry for them, too.

It starts when they're children, just like the ones in this video. If we feel sorry for the children (who are perfectly capable of thought, simply more open to new ideas and brainwashing because they have less previous knowledge) it makes sense to feel sorry for their adult manifestations.

(P. S. I know it's stereotyping, but after watching good ol' Ted speak for about a minute, I'm wondering HOW nobody ever guessed that he was kinda gay... Just saying.)