Basix Dildo

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Tenga Egg Review

I got a Tenga Egg from Good Vibrations!

You might be asking yourself why I would choose a male masturbator as my first toy to review. You might be thinking that I do not have a bio cock (although I do have a few less-sensate ones in my drawer at home) and therefore might not be able to write a detailed review of this kind of product. You might then conclude that I've used it with one of my male partners, but you'd actually be wrong!

You see, there is an off-label use for this adorable, single-use masturbation sleeve. One that benefits me, and my clitoris, more directly.

I like to use a Hitachi Magic Wand as my go-to toy for masturbation. It stays plugged in and tucked down to the side of my bed at all times. I pull it out pretty much nightly for a little release before I go to sleep. It's good shit.

However, I've got a very (very) sensitive clit and while I like the penetrating vibes of the Hitachi, it's a little too strong to touch directly to my fine skin. I usually use it through a comforter or a folded piece of quilt so as to dull the sensation just a little bit.

This method, however, is a little cumbersome and not particularly sexy to look at. If I'm going to be Skype-sexing with someone, I want to look hot while I'm masturbating and still be able to get off.

Thus, the Egg! While I could take advantage of its super-stretchiness on whoever's whatever-sized dick, I instead tried flipping it inside out and putting it over the head of my Hitachi.

This had a few perks. The Egg was just thick enough that I could indeed use the Hitachi on my clit without any other intervening layers. I also got the "Stepper" version of the Egg, which has triangle-shaped nubbins all over the inside. With the included lube, these added a nice texture to my masturbation session.

Because the Eggs are single use, or at least single-person use without involving a condom, I'm not going to end up trying it with a dude. Maybe I'll get another one someday and give that a go. It did, however, work very well as a Hitachi cover and I'd therefore recommend it as a good accessory for those whose clitorises (clitori?) are sensitive like mine.

Tuesday Review: Pornography: The Production and Consumption of Inequality

Okay, I know the Tuesday Reviews are kind of sporadic, but I'm a busy woman. I do my best.

This week's review isn't exactly a recommendation, more of an exercise in stretching my brain and my opinions on porn. That's important to do, and books like Pornography: The Production and Consumption of Inequality by Gail Dines, Robert Jensen, and Ann Russo are the background for dialogues about porn and sex work today.

In the interest of full disclosure, I'll admit I read this book for a research project I'm doing for my Women's Studies honors thesis. I'll be examining "feminist" porn and the tactics it uses to address critiques like the ones brought up in Pornography. I'm starting by reading a whole slew of books written by anti-porn feminists so that I can be fluent in their criticisms of porn.

One of the things that was striking to me in reading this book was the way the authors framed their arguments in relation to sex-positive feminists who they called "sexual liberals." The first couple of chapters were devoted to naming and disputing "sexually liberal" criticisms of anti-pornography feminism. As the book went on it got a little more nuanced, but the first two chapters set the tone for the narratives about porn.

I'm probably not going to make myself popular with people on either side by saying this, but I have a huge problem with the divisiveness we see surrounding the issue of porn in feminism. It's a problem on both sides, and I think it's really unproductive.

I agree with the anti-porn feminists that a lot of porn does represent and reinforce the patriarchal gender roles of our society. Including a tendency towards violence against women.

I agree with the sex positive feminists that porn can be a very powerful tool for exploring and expressing female sexuality. I think that any consciously navigated choice to be sexual as a woman is an act of rebellion against the stupid virgin/whore complex.

Which, by the way, is hugely at play in the conflict between these groups. The anti-porners basically call the sex pos-ers whores for advocating for what they see as the always patriarchal representations of sex in porn. The sex pos-ers call the anti-porners prudes for criticizing sex and porn and fucked up power dynamics between men and women.

It's a bad show.

I'm having a real "Ack! I've been identifying solely with one side of this argument, but I think the other has solid points too!" kind of moment.

I still think that the sex positive movement has a more productive approach to porn: actually making porn and REconstructing gender roles in it by altering the circumstances of its production and consumption. However, I don't think they'd be much of anywhere without the efforts of the anti-porn movement to highlight the sexual inequalities that are prevalent everywhere.

I think that where the anti-porn movement reacts to a negative sexual situation in our country, the pro-sex movement acts to change it. That's why I'm writing about feminist porn; I want to see how they're doing.

After that long word vomit, back to the book. I did really like the last few chapters where the authors talked more about their personal interactions with porn and how it affected them emotionally. These three closing essays showed, finally, a much more complex view of how to deal with porn.

I think that in the end these three are somewhat open to dealing with sex positive types (or "sexual liberals" as they're called in the book). I hope that we can all find a common ground. We're all working towards the same thing anyway: equality between men and women.

Cross posted at Fourth Wave Feminism

Tuesday Review: Wristcutters - A Love Story

I saw Wristcutters a couple of weeks ago, and I've been meaning to write about it. I figured what better time than on Tuesday, for my weekly review!

Wristcutters is a movie about people who have committed suicide. The premise is that when you kill yourself, you go to a world that's just like the real one but a just a little worse. Nobody can smile, there's not much to do, and everybody bears the scars of their suicides. When I heard the premise, I was excited for the film, and it definitely lives up to its concept.

They tell you in the title of the film that it's a love story, and I'd even go a step further to call it a romantic comedy. But it's a black comedy: the story wryly plays with the misfortune of suicidal people. Okay, maybe that sounds bad, but I think it brings a much-needed sense of humor to "offing," as they call it in the film. It seems like everyone I know is confessing to suicidal thoughts lately, so it was nice to see something that made light of a serious thing.

It was a classic film in a lot of ways: the main character, a wrist cutter named Zia, kills himself over a girl and then goes on a road trip to find her when he discovers that she's killed herself, too. He finds friends, romance, and adventure while he's looking for the girl. Classic bildungsroman travel film.

It's well done, though, with good acting and a great script. I definitely recommend this movie to anyone who likes a little heart warming with a dose of biting humor. I'll be adding it to my DVD collection soon.

Here's a trailer:

Tuesday Review: Bitch Magazine

This is more of a rave than a review, but I figured it counts.

If you spend any time in the feminist blog-o-sphere, you already know that Bitch Magazine has been in trouble. They've been holding a donation drive to raise enough money to put out their next issue (which they did, thank god) but there is a big question about how they will create sustainable strategies to keep going as an independent magazine.



If you're convinced already, donate here to help them keep things going. Subscriptions give them money and get you the magazine, and like they said even small amounts help. I'm not exactly rolling in cash on my work break, and I gave my $20.

Bitch is a wonderful magazine. I've been reading it since I was a freshman three years ago, and it's one of the things that made me feel comfortable to start calling myself a feminist.

Yep, that's right. For about six months at the end of high school, I was one of those "I'm not a feminist, but..." types. You know, finish the sentence with any variety of "I believe in equal rights for men and women." If you read my blog, you already know that I'm still not 100% satisfied with the word "feminist," but I do proudly and loudly identify as one. I am definitely an activist and strongly believe in sex equality. I am a feminist.

Bitch also introduced me to sex-positive feminism. They ran an article about the different kinds of feminism, followed by an interview with sex-positive heroine Susie Bright. It was the first time I had encountered anyone who had an ethical, activist, intellectual interest in sex, who thought it was a legitimate thing to be interested in.

I pretty much cried with relief. I got on the phone with my then-boyfriend and told him all about it. I'd been enduring the slut label for years and it hadn't occurred to me that there were other people around like me. There were people I could look up to, people I could learn from.

Bitch prints all kinds of feminist pop culture goodness: essays analyzing movies, books, and music, interviews of pertinent people, discussion of various feminist movements (because there are many), etc. They are probably the most important feminist voice in the last decade.

So Bitch is a winner, check them out and help them stick around!

Tuesday Review: The LayaSpot from Fun Factory

I'm starting a new weekly review! It's on Tuesdays because unexpectedly life-altering things always happen on Tuesdays. It's that day of the week that sneaks up on you. So maybe my reviews will change your life. Mwahahahaha.

I know there are a million bloggers (and especially sex bloggers) writing reviews of sex toys and other sexy shit all the time. I'm going to do that, too, but I also want to write about books that have blown my little feminist mind and movies that have stretched my imagination. I'll write about porn, too. Hell, I'll talk about random office products or food items if the mood strikes me. (You'd be surprised how sexy some paper weights can be.)

So this shall be the Everything Review.

Starting wiiiiiiiiiiiiith:


The LayaSpot Vibrator from Fun Factory

This is my favorite vibrator. That's why I'm reviewing it first. I've had it for years, and it lives on my bedside table instead of in the drawer with the rest of them. To put it away would be silly - I use it too often. I've gotten many other toys, but none of them have successfully unseated my Laya in its place of honor.

The biggest reason for this is that the Laya has the perfect level of vibration for me. Everyone is different, but I'm not always in the mood for a powerhouse like the Hitachi Magic Wand. The Laya has some kick; it's definitely more of a buzz than a tickle, but it doesn't leave my hands and clit numb unless I use it for a good long time. If a tiny tickle is a 1 and a motorcycle rumble is a 5, I'd say the Laya rates a 3 on the vibration scale.

It's also pretty quiet. When I had a roommate, I used it plenty of times when she was asleep across the room, and she's never heard it. And yeah, I asked her. We're pretty close like that.

I use the Laya as an external vibe. I really like how it covers my whole vulva, so I get stimulation on my lips, urethra, and the opening of my vagina as well as on my clit. I can see how you'd use it by inserting the hard plastic end into the vagina and letting the rest of the body of the vibrator touch the lips and clit. It's kind of an awkward angle to do this, though, so I wouldn't especially recommend it as an internal vibrator.

It's got very user-friendly controls. It's super easy to push the buttons and change the vibration while you're using it. There's a little nub on the plus button, so you can just feel your way and adjust as you go. The seven speeds of vibration are continuous, so you can just push the plus or minus button until you get to a place you like.

It also has three speeds of pulsation. The only problem with the pulsation is that you have to turn the vibrator all the way up before you get to the pulsation programs. This means that in order to turn it off when it's pulsating you have to push the minus button all the way through the vibration speeds. This isn't as speedy as it might need to be.

The Laya is made out of elastomer and hard plastic, so it's easy to clean and there are no icky pthalates to make your vagina smell funny or cause health complications. You can get it wet, but don't submerge or boil it, as you don't want to damage the motor.

It comes in a variety of pretty colors. Mine is pink because I so love the irony of a girly-ass color on something I use for dirty things.

One drawback to this toy is that it uses AAA batteries instead of being rechargeable. It's waaaaaaay cheaper than rechargeable vibes, though, so if you're looking for an affordable vibe this might not matter that much to you. I'll be happy when I find a comparable toy that doesn't make me worry about the affect my masturbation has on my carbon footprint.

I love to lie on my stomach with the Laya between my legs while a man fucks me from behind. It's not quite small or soft enough to use during vaginal intercourse if you're really into the missionary position, but I'm sure you can be more creative than that. It's also easy to hold while a man or woman has a hand (or a few fingers) inside me.

The Bottom Line: I love the Laya, and recommend it for anyone who likes moderately strong clitoral stimulation.