Female Customers

I love it when women come into the strip club and even more when they visit the peep show. Especially when they are clearly into other women, actually watching what I'm doing. Women are a tiny minority of our customer base, and it warms the cockles of my heart (and sometimes other parts) when women show up and ask for a lap dance. Even the shy straight women are fun to interact with, especially if I can get them to be friendly in return.

Many strippers don't seem to feel this way. Granted, there are plenty of women who come in unwillingly with their men, or who come in only to trash the dancers for a self esteem boost. I know lots of dancers who say they've been snubbed by women in couples because of jealousy or awkwardness. "Are you trying to steal my man?" kind of stuff. (To avoid this, I try to pay the most attention to the female member of a hetero couple. That way, he's still getting a show, but she's not feeling too threatened.)

Now, the other dancers are right. Some female customers can be obnoxious. However, I'd say it's in about the same proportion that male customers are obnoxious. We're just more used to the groping attempts and the veiled contempt from men than the girly snubs and the critical looks from women.

All that said, I found a good etiquette guide for female customers on Tales From the Pole that I thought I'd reproduce here. Some of these obviously only apply to straight women, but some things (like no touching) go for queer women, too.

• If it's your boyfriend's idea to go to the club and you really don't want to, please don't go; we all know the night will end in a fight.
  
• Try not to dress too skanky, you're not competing with the strippers. (Note: I don't mind this, although I do hate it when customers oggle non-dancer women who they're not paying for the privilege.)
  
• Being female does not grant you free entry or discounted dances and you are still expected to tip.
  
• Neither does it give you permission to touch the strippers; if male customers cannot touch, neither can you.
  
• Don't sit at the stage and bitch about a stripper's cellulite; she can hear you, and you know you have it too.
  
• Don't complain loudly that the stripper on stage has "no tits" "no ass" or "isn't even using the pole."
  
• Don't ever try to get on stage.
  
• Don't ever take your clothes off. Ever.
  
• Don't give your man a lap dance at the bar.
  
• Don't do any form of dancing at all.
  
• Don't hit on the customers.
  
• Don't cockblock our customers because you are "hotter than the bitches working here."
  
• Try to understand that the strippers are not hitting on your man, they are merely trying to get money out of him because, you know, its work.
  
• And please, if you and your man are trawling for the third member of your fantasy threesome, stay out of the stripclub. Please.

I, like Sakura, have either seen or at least heard about all of these things happening in the club. Three cheers to her for making an etiquette list.