Renegade Evolution wrote a post about how tired she is of the feminist sex wars and all their resulting baggage. It's a long post and she goes into a lot more depth about how this affects her personally, but I share the overall sentiment.

I read a lot of blogs and I see so much hostility that seems so unnecessary. We all ultimately want the same sex equality and sexual health. Why should we be so vicious in arguing over our tactics for making it happen?

I think a lot of it is based on the anonymity of the internet. It's easy to keep a closed mind and direct anger and shame at people you disagree with when your name and face aren't behind your words. It's too easy to dehumanize the other side when all you see of them is the written word and sometimes a picture. Not like when a person is standing there in front of your face, breathing and emoting.

I think the personal anger on each side is in fact justified because everyone has been personally attacked. That's not fair, it hurts, and in turn it angers. But of course then the cycle starts all over again.

I think Jane at good girls don't put it best in her very excellent post on Operation Cross Country and sex work.
I don’t think sex work is a “free” choice, nor do I think it’s a reconstitution of the patriarchy. I think it’s something in between.
I recommend reading the whole post, as she eloquently covers a lot of the nuances missing in this discussion. There's so much grey area here and when we get caught up in these black and white verbal fist fights we miss all of it. I hope that we can find a better way of discussing this that involves a lot more mutual respect.


Michael Halila said...

For my money, you're right on when you talk about the anonymity of the Internet. I have a pessimistic theory of my own on that that I'll have to write up.

I'm also tired at the moment; I'm writing about and against racism on my blogs and butting heads with people. One of the biggest problems with Internet discussions and debates is that not nearly everyone is interested in any kind of real discussion. In fact, I'd say the majority aren't. Most people come to these debates not to share views but to beat others over the head with how correct their own opinions are. That can never lead to any kind of discussion.

Respect for another person's opinion demands that you acknowledge the possibility your own opinion might be imperfect, even "wrong", and that the other person's opinion may have some merit to it, even be "correct". Not a lot of people seem to be able to achieve this.

On living, loving, learning, and fucking with the materials I've got at hand.

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