Men and "Pseudo Erotic Homosexuality"

My post title kind of says it all, or at least a lot.

I have this friend, who is an Orthodox Jew. He was raised Reformed Jewish and began practicing Orthodoxy maybe two years ago after he came to college. He is incredibly enthusiastic about his religion and will talk at great length about it to anyone who brings up anything even remotely related. This could be annoying, but he's smart and well-spoken so it's not. He has a very interesting perspective on religion in general and his own religion specifically, so it's fun to hang out with him.

This boy, however, is more touchy-feely with other guys than pretty much any other straight guy I've known. He has a very complex relationship with his sexuality; I think he is drawn to Orthodoxy because he feels that he can't control his behavior, especially his sexual behavior, without the structure it provides. There are other reasons, of course, but that one is pretty immediately apparent.

Now, I'm not going to second guess someone on their orientation. If he says he's straight, I respect him enough to take him at his word. I think that's a courtesy we should automatically give people. It's really, really fascinating, though, to hang out with him and other guys.

Now, I think it's safe to say that most straight men do a lot of latently homosexual things. Strip clubs, anyone? Let's all go in a group and watch hot girls so that we all get turned on? Together? Hello?

You know what it's like. They watch porn together. They have circle jerks. They "jokingly" hug each other or hump each other in order to "make fun of" gay people and prove that they aren't actually gay while they get the benefits of physical contact with their guy friends. It's a bonding thing.

The male gender role is so fucked up, right? Heaven forbid you have actual intimacy with a friend, or you just might be gay. And we can't have that.

My Jewish friend is really upfront about this. It's one of the reasons I like him; he's very self aware. He told me the other day that he really enjoys "pseudo erotic homosexuality" with other guys. He actually used that phrase. I kinda wish more men would be willing to admit to it, and be able to relax enough in their gender roles to be upfront about what guy friendships are or could be.

P.S. There obviously are guys who push at and escape their gender roles. If that's you, I respect you, and frankly probably want to sleep with you. Spent any time in New York lately?


On living, loving, learning, and fucking with the materials I've got at hand.

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